I had to learn the hard way about waiting on God. I had to learn that it is not in my timing but God's perfect timing.
My Husband Wayne:
I was 44 when my husband and I met for the first time. He was the van driver for the church my mother is a member of. I would visit my mother's church when they had specials or my pastor was away.
Wayne was just another member of that church to me. I knew he drove the van because I had seen him delivering the elderly members. But that was all I knew about him. Nothing really stuck out about him. He was nice to me, but then again, he was nice to everyone.
I on the other hand was a stand offish kind of visitor. I mean, I had my own church I belonged to and I was married to this awful man who kept me under his thumb.
If I was too long at the grocery store, he was on the cell phone wondering where I was. I had no friends because no one liked my husband and would not come around. The last time I had had a visitor, my husband sent me to my room to talk with her because he didn’t want to be bothered. How embarrassing that was to have my husband talk to me that way in front of a guest.
I had married this man because I was a widow at 35, raising 2 boys and they needed a father. Or so I thought. As much as I was into church, I neglected to see my Father in Heaven as being sufficient.
One day, a well meaning member of my church told me that I needed a husband to help me raise my boys. After all, boys need a man to look up to, and to help make them men. I mistakenly listened and then started feeling the same way. Never did until that seed was planted. (be careful who and what you let get spoken into your life) Well, not really knowing how to pray for a husband, I asked what I should pray for. This well meaning friend told me to pray for what would make me happy. Another mistake, I should have been praying for who God would have me to marry.
What would make me happy was someone TALL, DARK and HANDSOME. Oh and of course went to church. (didn’t asked for saved, just that he went to church)
To make a long story short, I got just what I prayed for. My new husband, Gary, was just that. TALL, DARK, HANDSOME and went to church. I soon found out after we married that he totally took the part in the bible where the man is the head of the household, to heart. But not the way God intended. He ruled over me and the kids like a military tyrant. We could not go anywhere; do anything unless he thought it would benefit him in some way. Oh, we went to church. Looked like the perfect family. But no one saw the holes in the walls from when he lost his temper. No one noticed when the van go repossessed because he would not pay the bills. And oh, I had better never ask him where all the money went ever again. Not if I wanted to keep my head on my shoulders.
This went on for 7 years. I finally had had enough when he took church away from me. He made one excuse after another why we couldn’t go this Sunday or the next. Then the Sundays turned into months of Sundays. People from church would come to see how we where and I heard him one time tell them, that I was sick and they couldn’t come in right now.
The pastor saw thru the lies and had us come in for counseling. While the sessions where focused on me and what I was doing incorrectly (according to my husband) we would continue the sessions but as soon as the topic turned to Gary, the sessions abruptly stopped and we never went back. My pastor’s wife told me, that I did not have to stay with this man in an abusive situation. My thinking was that unless he committed adultery, I had to stay with him.
So glad I found out I was wrong. I may not have the biblical grounds to divorce him, but I did not have to live in the same house with him. So the boys and I moved out one day while Gary was at work. I soon found out that he was indeed having an affair and had been for the past 3 years of our marriage. And that gave me what I needed to divorce him.
Too embarrassed to go back to my church, I started going to my mother’s. There is nothing like the comfort of your mother and the Word of God in times of trouble. I started bible study, and even went to Sunday school. Soon, I was back to my old self, being social and making good Christian friends and finding God just how He is suppose to be.
God let me know that He had not left me. That He had always been there with me, but that He did not answer that prayer for a husband way back 7 years ago. I had miss read the signs. I had not heard from God really. I had gotten just what I had prayed for without asking God what He had wanted for me.
6 months after going to mom’s church on a full time, regular basis, I felt the call to join it.
Me and Bro. Wayne, the van driver, and another man named Jeff all went forward to join the church on the same day. That was Aug 27th 2006, and my Christian life has never been the same.
I discovered that you have to work at your Christian life just like you have to work at your business. Neither will grow if you just let it sit on the shelf.
Well as life would have it, being a single mother has it’s joys but it helps if you know someone who can fix things when they break. My car window went down one cold and rainy day, only to get stuck in the down position, and on the driver’s side, no less. So that Sunday, at church, I took my need before the congregation.
Listen, this is of MAJOR IMPORTANCE. When you have a need, that is what your church body is for. To help you out. Did you get that??? If you have a need, take it to your church.
By the end of the service that day, someone had come to me and told me about Bro. Wayne being able to fix just about anything any one could need fixing. So I asked him and sure enough, he was able to fix my window. That was December 2006.
In February 2007, Bro. Wayne ran behind my going out the back door of the church and asked me for my phone number. Imagine my surprise. Why on earth would this man want my phone number and I asked him as much.
He looked at me and laughed. He has an amazing laugh. And he said, “ Why does a gentleman ask for a ladies phone number?” Realizing that I had just asked a DUH!!! question, I began to laugh myself and gave him my number.
We started talking on the phone from that day on, for hours. We could talk about anything. A month later we had our first date. Well not a date really but we took a walk. It was wonderful. He had asked if he could speak to me after bible study one Wednesday evening. He wanted to take me for a walk. Wow, a walk??? Really??? No one had ever taken me for a walk before. It was so nice.
On August 27, 2007, Wayne asked me if I remember what that date was. I had to think back for a second. Then a big grin came on his face. As I looked up at him, it came to me. That date, Aug 27 was the date we joined Church a year earlier. He remembered it. I had not given it a second thought. And I kid you not, a little voice reminded me of something else.
That prayer I had prayed so many years ago for a husband. Tall, Dark, Handsome and goes to church. Yes, Lord I remember that prayer and I remember the results. No I will not pray that again and please forgive me for miss reading You.
The months went by and Wayne and I spent more and more time together. I even started letting him have time with my boys. Ryan was 17 and William was 10. They would go fishing, take in movies and have GUY time. I an learned to enjoy some much needed ME time.
During one of these Me times, I caught myself thinking about being married again. As fear struck my heart, I quickly put those thoughts away. I had been there, done that, twice even. My first husband, whom I loved dearly died at the age of 38. My second husband will go down in history as the biggest mistake of my life. I don’t need to make a strike 3 to know that I am just not meant to be married.
When Christmas 2007 came and went and Wayne did not bring up marriage, I thought that I was in the clear. I mean, we had been seeing each other for almost a year. If he didn’t ask me at Christmas time to be his wife, then marriage was that furthest thing from his mind and I was glad.
I was sitting on the couch watching a movie about 2 lovers when that prayer came to mind again. What Lord???? Why am I still thinking about something I no longer want? It was like the Lord saying to me, “Pray it again, only this time, pray it CORRECTLY!”
Pray it correctly??? I had to think for a minute. Okay, so If Lord, I was to pray that prayer again, this is how I would pray it.
"Dear Lord, You said that we can come to the Throne of Grace boldly and ask what we will, in Jesus name and You will hear and answer our pray according to Your will. So I am praying for a husband, Lord. Someone, who is Tall, Dark and Handsome, who also goes to church, AND loves You with his whole heart. A man that will treat me the way You would have Your daughter to be treated. In Jesus name, Amen."
That is how I would pray it Lord, if I was to pray it again. And I left it at that.
Well, wouldn’t you know it? God has His own agenda and He doesn't ask us for our opinion on the subject.
Wayne asked me to marry him on New Years Eve 2007. Well really New Years Day, Midnight, Jan 1st 2008. I was totally floored. I cried and laughed and looked up and God.
Wow, what a wonderful God You are!!!!
We married January 13, 2008. Just stayed after church that day and got married. It was so nice. No fanfare, no big thing made over us. Just the presence of the Lord and close friends and family. A wondrous and marvelous day.
The day I learned, that waiting on God is truly worth the wait.